-All of which makes me anxious. At times unbearably so.

I look like shit, I feel like shit, lets do this again sometime.

Morning pee.

I walk in the bathroom and notice a small round container proclaiming OLAY & COVER GIRL. These being two different brands, I think of the process of two companies coming together and making a product. But then my mind wanders and I can't help but wonder, were the CEO's fucking? Did passionate sex and lust for one another bring these two name brands together to make "simply agless blah blah blah"? Or maybe it was two underling product managers who secretly had crushes on each other from the conference in San Francisco last year. The ones who went to their bosses and said they had this great idea to put the two companies together. To create some super seller. They swore they could push close t0 60 million units, they just needed a meeting.

Then like some beautiful perverse combination of sex and cosmetic sales, every inch of the building smelled of sex, lust, need, want. The undying work force powered by two lovers.-

Then my pee flow stops.
These are the things I think about when I go to the bathroom in the morning.

I found a path out into the desert.

Oh my

It's been a minute since I've posted last, hasn't it.
I'm not sure if people still read this or not, since I haven't really been posting. My brain's been kind of stalled out lately. With panic attacks about taking the GED, (I signed up today, taking it next monday) being single and losing some friends. I've been going down to albuquerque every weekend for the past 2 months or so. Going to parties, passing out on joshes couch. It's basically the only thing that keeps me from going stir crazy. I'm going to stop going down unless I've been invited to things specifically. Lucky for me Aly's birthday is this weekend. And rosabelle and a few of us are going to the strip club. (Oh god lol.) But otherwise, it's just a waste of time. All I do is what I always do. Get drunk, do something stupid, wake up talk to josh about it, wait all day, wash, rinse, repeat.


There are girls. Here and there, but I still get a little shaky when I lurk her profile. I'll get over this I guess. Everyone says it takes time. I'm glad my friends care about me. I feel kind of bad these days though, I feel like I bring them down. Like I used to, back, who knows when. I'm too tired to be angry and I'm too scared to act like I have my shit together. So this is me. Totally and completely. Charming, awkward, and depressed, but fuck if I'm going to let this shit bother me forever.